


it's so dark

by freedomatsea



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Dark Hook, Dark One Emma, Dark One Killian, Dark Swan, F/M, Hate Sex, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Content, dark sex, post-birth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 23:52:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5225945
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/freedomatsea/pseuds/freedomatsea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Killian and Emma cope with the fallout of Killian discovering the choice Emma made in Camelot. This piece is dark, depressing, and a little twisted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's so dark

**Author's Note:**

> I was prompted by Sarita and Lexi on Twitter to write DarkOnes!CaptainSwan smut so here you go. As always I am incapable of wriitng just smut without plot and context.

Never in his life had he imagined that he would possess magic. Then again, never in even his wildest nightmares, could he have imagined himself becoming the very thing he despised most of all. The bitch of it all was that it was _Emma_ who had made him this monster. Emma, who knew the depths of his hate and loathing. Emma, who despite his resignation that he was dying, kept him alive by tethering him Excalibur. Forcing him to be born again – this time as the _Dark One_.

His brows furrowed together, his jaw set hard as he looked between Emma and the witch. Would it have hurt less if Emma had just told him? Instead of letting him believe that he was still _normal_. Instead doing everything behind his back. She’d robbed him of his memories to protect him. He should have been able to see the logic, but instead he felt the depths of darkness within him forcing the sense of betrayal into something putrid.

“You can go.” Killian hissed out at Zelena, raising his hand and sending her away in a puff of blue-hazed smoke. “How dare you Emma.”

Her expression shattered, dropping her gaze to the floor. “It was the only thing I could do, Killian. I _couldn’t_ lose you. You know that.” Emma whispered, fighting against the control of the squid ink.

“So instead of letting me _die_ you turned me into the very monster I have spent my whole life trying to kill?” Killian snarled out, closing the distance between he and Emma, towering over her. “Why would you do this to me?”

“I didn’t do it to you because I wanted to hurt you Killian. I did it because I couldn’t lose you.” Emma shifted, starting to break free of the squid ink. “You should be able to understand that. I wanted our future together. All that we had _just_ talked about. I wanted this house. I wanted you to live here with me. I wanted our future together.”

Killian looked away. “There’s no future now Emma.” He said lowly, his jaw clenching.

“No. _No_. We can still have it Killian. I have it all planned out. We’re going beat this together. We just need someone else to take the darkness and then we’re free.”

He shook his head. “I’m not strong enough Emma. I told you that. I know the darkness in my heart.”

“You _just_ said that all sins can be forgiven if someone loves you. I love you Killian.” Emma reached out and touched his cheek, but he flinched away from her. “ _Please_. Just let me fix this Killian.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be fixed.” Killian retorted, his eyes flashing to meet hers. “Maybe now that I know what it feels like to have all this magic and all of this power – I don’t _want_ you to fix me.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “That’s not you talking. That’s the darkness. The power is tempting. Trust me, I know. But you have to fight it.” She reached out to grab his arm, _whooshing_ them from in front of the door, back to where she had the telescope set up. “Look out at the sea Killian. Let it calm you.”

“I don’t _want_ to look at the sea _Emma_!” He snapped, lashing out – knocking the telescope over. His fist clenched at his side as he looked down at the mess he’d made. “I can’t do this Emma. I’m not strong enough to fight this like you are. I fought so hard to suppress the darkness in my heart, but it’s just bubbling over now.”

His mind was reeling in a way he had never experienced it before. There had been so many nights where his dark deeds had kept him up, but the lulling rock of the sea had always put him to sleep. Now there would be no reprieve. He knew there was going to be no hope for him, not like it was with Emma.

“We can fix this Killian.” Emma whispered, “I never wanted you to know until _after_ I had fixed it.” Despite his hostile posture, Emma invaded his personal space, her hands pressing against his chest. “Please don’t be angry with me because I wanted you to live. Because I wanted to spend the rest of my living days with you.”

“Then why not just leave us both as the Dark One?” Killian retorted, his words heated with sarcasm and anger. “We’ll never die. We can just live forever like this.” He widened his eyes. “Except the hitch in that plan is that I don’t want to be near you right now. I want to hurt you like you’ve hurt me.”

“I didn’t _hurt_ you.”

“ _Emma_ ,” He hissed out, his fingers curling around her wrist to take her hand off his chest. “You turned me into the _Dark One_.” He turned them around, pressing her against the table behind them. “I can’t control this Emma.”

Emma jerked her wrist free from his hold, “We can do this _together_ Killian. I won’t let you lose yourself because of me.”

“It’s too late.”

“You’re being a defeatist.” Emma retorted, taking hold of his face. “You’re better than that and we both know it. It’s a shock to feel all of that power coursing through you. All of that darkness. But you can fight it.”

“I can’t.” Killian gritted out, going rigid as she stroked his cheeks. “I’m not strong enough.”

“Yes you are.” Emma insisted, leaning up to kiss him, trying to soothe the beast inside. Killian’s arm went around her, jerking against him even as he pressed her back against the table.

“This isn’t going to end well.” He growled out against her lips, lifting his hand to cradle the back of her head as he stared into her eyes.

“I believe in _us_ Killian.” Emma whispered, her lips brushing over his as she spoke.

Killian’s eyes were hooded with darkness and something else, “You were the light that brought me out of the darkness Emma. How am I supposed to see through this eternal night when you’re in it too?”

“ _Shh_.” Emma brushed her fingers over his lips.

“Don’t _shh_ me Emma.” Killian snapped, his fingers tugged at the bun at the back of her head, wanting to tangle his fingers in her hair. He could feel the magic at the tips of his fingers, which let him do it with ease. The power he had now threatened to be addicting. Like rum had been his cure-all, magic would do the same.

He twisted his fingers through her hair, noting the way her lashes fluttered as he tugged at the strands. They were so close to each other now that it was suffocating.

“I want to make you _pay_ for doing this to me Emma. I want to make you hurt.”

“That’s the darkness talking.”

“The darkness you _gave_ me.”

“To save you. I had no choice.”

“There’s always a choice Emma.” Killian bit out.

Emma shook her head. “Not when it comes between losing you or saving you.” She pressed her palms against his chest, letting out a heavy sigh. “I would rather you hate me and be alive than love me and be dead Killian.”

“Of course you would.” Killian’s hook was digging into the small of her back, “What if I told you I _did_ hate you for this? Would you let me go?”

Emma’s eyes fell closed for a moment as she tried to collect herself. It was clear that his words had struck a chord. “Yes. I’m not going to force you to be with me if you hate me for what I did.”

Killian knew there was no easy way out of his new fate. It would lessen the pain of it all if he forced this wedge between the two of them. It would hurt _her_ less in the end. Break her heart now and spare her from the pain of one later.

“Then I hate you Emma Swan.”

Emma looked as though she had been struck across the face and in retaliation she did just that to Killian.

Killian grabbed her hand, his eyes flashing dangerously as he met her gaze. “ _Really_?”

“Really.” Emma countered with no small amount of sass. “I can see what you’re doing Killian. Don’t think I can’t. You and I, we understand each other now more than ever because the same darkness is in us. I know what you’re doing.”

Something snapped within him. He couldn’t pinpoint what caused it – whether it was something now or something that had been building for a long time. Whatever it was there was no coming back from it.

Killian’s lips crashed against Emma’s in lieu of more half-hearted remarks of hatred. He didn’t hate her, not really, not at the root of it. Killian Jones wasn’t capable of hating Emma Swan. But the darkness that preyed upon his insecurities and fears and self-doubts: that exasperated every emotion and made him feel it ten times stronger than ever before – _that_ was capable of hating her and he didn’t want to let it win.

He had always imagined that their first time would be romantic. Maybe after a nice candlelit dinner on the Jolly Roger or after the darkness had been taken from her, once they settled into their new home together. Instead, it was this. Like two souls caught up in some eternal fight for control. Over each other, over themselves, over the darkness which gnawed at everything they were.

There was something to the darkness that _was_ appealing. The power to _will_ clothing away, to lay each other bare in seconds.

Emma’s nails bit into his shoulders and his back as she clutched at him, tearing into his skin, leaving little trails of blood that healed no sooner than her fingertips had passed. The pain was something to be relished, as fleeting as it was. It made him feel _alive_.

Killian growled out her name as his teeth scraped over her bottom lip. His fingers dug into her hip as he lifted her onto the edge of the table, urging her legs around his hips. If only they could fuck the darkness away. If only that were the end of this story. But with the darkness came the knowledge that there would be a steep price to pay for what Emma had done and _he_ would be it.

He couldn’t defeat death another time.

Her happy ending wasn’t going to be _him_. How could it be him? He was too weak to fight the darkness and because of that a choice was going to be made, one that neither of them were going to like. But he could make it easier on her, lessen her pain in the end.

This was their swan song.

Killian pulled back from their searing kiss to meet her eyes. “I love you.” He whispered as he thrust into her, no gentleness to his actions, only his words.

“I know.” Emma hissed out, biting down on her bottom lip to keep from crying out his name. She tightened her legs around him, rocking his hips to the driving rhythm he found for them. They were a mess of emotions; love and hate, pain and pleasure. There was no room between them to differentiate where one began and the other ended.

If only this could solve their problems.

It seemed somehow right and so very wrong that his first taste of real, unadulterated pleasure, came with such a price.

“I’m sorry.” Emma whispered against his lips, raking her fingers through his hair as her other hand clutched at his back for support as they moved together.

“I forgive you.” Killian assured her, wishing he could take back his anger-fueled words now that he had a brief moment of sobering clarity on the cusp of overwhelming pleasure. There was no easy way out of this, no real fix to save him. This moment was it for them. One last good moment for her to cling to when it all fell away.

They cried out together as it hit – overtaking them, stealing their breath, flooding their systems. In that moment there was no darkness, there was only them. If only it were possible to freeze that moment and savor it for the lifetime they would never have together.

Killian didn’t know whether it was Emma or himself that took them from the table to her bedroom upstairs. But he relished the comfort of the mattress beneath them, his arms curling around her possessively.

“I’m not strong enough Emma.” Killian whispered, pressing his face into the crook of her neck.

“But I am. I’m strong enough for both of us.” Emma urged, “Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for love. Other Dark Ones have used this darkness for personal gain, to seek more magic, more power, more control. But everything I’ve done, I’ve done because I love you. Love is the most powerful magic of all.”

Killian felt his eyes sting with tears he willed not fall in vain. “It’s _so_ dark Emma.”

“Nothing is as dark as what my life would be without you in it Killian. Savior or Dark One, I would cease to exist if I didn’t have you next to me Killian.” Emma said almost desperately. “And _no one_ would understand it. None of them _do_ understand it. They didn’t care that you were dying. None of them wanted me to do this. They wanted me to suffer after all that I have sacrificed for them to be with their happy endings. But heaven forbid I break a few rules for myself to save _you_. You’re it for me Killian. There’s no hope for me without you.”

“You have Henry.”

Emma laughed incredulously, “You _know_ it’s not the same Killian.”

“I know.” He swallowed thickly, raking his hand over his face as he rolled away from her onto his back. “But I just don’t _see_ a happy ending to this predicament.”

“I’m not one to give false hope Killian, but I promise you that I will find a way to save you. Even if you turn your back on me. I won’t go down without a fight.”

“I know. That’s what I love about you Emma.” Killian whispered, reaching out to brush his fingers over her cheek. “Keep my brother’s ring safe, love. I have a feeling you’re going to need that protection in the coming days.”

Emma’s smile was fleeting. “You don’t have to go through this alone Killian.”

But he was resolved to his fate. “Yes I do.” He whispered, his lips brushing over hers for a brief moment before it faded to nothing as he vanished from her sight.

She could find him if she really wanted to, but she knew he needed time to process this, uninterrupted by her. Emma just hoped that the time and space she gave him wouldn’t come back to bite them in the ass. But she knew it would.

All magic comes with a price and the price would end up being Killian.


End file.
